I had a panic attack. The sharp sensation of overwhelm triggered a characteristic I haven’t suffered from in years. All of a sudden, I realized I [then] had a month and a half ’til my lease ended and I needed to decide in just as much time whether to leave this one-foot town* ..or stay, and if so for how long.

Searching for direction is stressful. When you’re feeling confused about your next steps, sometimes it’s most helpful to take a moment to distance yourself and relax.

“When you’re feeling confused about your next steps, sometimes it’s most helpful to take a moment to distance yourself and relax.“

I took an impromptu trip to Chicago for several days, where I was able to cost-efficiently unwind by staying with relatives. The past few days I didn’t touch my computer. I immersed myself in what was happening immediately around me. And I happily ate and ate.

I’ve been reflecting since on what the lessons have been.

I got to know a few more paternal family members better. And as I embraced participation in what was around me, I enjoyed a series of mini-adventures. I genuinely had a pleasant trip.

Beyond the question of moving, there are some other matters I need to address. These issues in which I’ve been uncertain about how to proceed were not instantly settled. Still, I imagine feeling more centered has granted me just enough clarity to loosely construct an action plan.

Relieving stress is crucial to making clear-headed decisions. Pressing pause and taking a breather is an excellent mode of reducing stress; it’s something that can be performed even when money is tight. I gave myself a face masque, had lively conversations, and reveled in ample laughter. I slept in a comfy bed and focused on the moment. It’s the small pieces that are most powerful.

Now, I’m back in my apartment soaking in a hot bath. I added Epsom salt to assist in relaxing any tightness. I feel like I have a tentative plan.

Progress.

*- ‘one-foot town’ = a town so small that when you’re there, you’ve got one foot in and one foot out